hey los angeles, I’m back

In a very unexpected turn of events, we have moved… back to Los Angeles. Not only did we move back to Los Angeles, but we are living literally a mile from the house I grew up in, in Redondo Beach.

If you had told me six months ago that we would be here, I would have said you’re crazy. But now I just know we’re crazy.

Why move?

When I recently wrote the post about moving to Utah after we got married and “the adventure taking a turn”, I wasn’t asking for another turn of adventure. Or another move. I really loved it in Warsaw, Indiana, and expected to stay there for another year if not more. In fact, we were looking at buying a house and started putting in offers.

The unexpected came when Matt got a job offer for a company that’s his dream to work at. And, after he received the offer, my company was fully supportive of me working remotely. With all barriers really gone, we decided this was an opportunity that we needed to see through.

However, just because you make a decision, and you know it’s going to be ok, doesn’t mean it’s not hard.

A true gem

For one, Warsaw, Indiana is a gem of a small town. And I definitely plan to share my recommendations for visiting it. But part of the charm is really enjoying living there.

I think I might romanticize the notion of living in a small town. It was probably due to every Hallmark movie plot that highlighted someone moving from a big city to a small town and rediscovering the true importance of life beyond the superficiality that is often associated with larger cities. In Warsaw, there’s even an area called the Village at Winona that has older homes that have been made into shops and restaurants on the lake and really feels like it’s out of a Hallmark movie set.

Beyond that though, there is something very wonderful and tangible about Warsaw and small towns — I know all the best restaurants, I know where I could find city hall, the jail, and the farmers market (all in one area). I don’t have to worry about parking anywhere. We could afford to buy a home. I could run into people in the stores.

I think the biggest downsides include it being far from a major airport and not having a Target. But then again, those things are sort of what define it as a small town, so I’m not really complaining.

Warsaw specifically is also a lake town. There are three main lakes in the town, one of which we lived on, and 14 in the county. On one of my days back at the office, we took a lunch break and went on my co-worker’s pontoon boat around the lake. Just because we could.

I especially appreciate the community. Along with our work community, we became really close to our church community and all the amazing people there with who we were able to build relationships despite COVID-19 and all the isolation.

Morning sunrise on Pike Lake, Warsaw, Indiana.

Morning sunrise on Pike Lake, Warsaw, Indiana.

The Struggle

After we started looking at houses, I had this vision of owning a home — something I never really thought possible growing up in a place where prices for homes seem to get more out of reach to any potential earnings I could ever make. We would finally get the dog I’ve always wanted, and have a little shop area for Pedal & Petal. We’d be able to make any changes and renovate if needed to make it our own.

I was really sad about letting this specific future go. I was sad that the small town that had become our home relatively quickly, the lake that I got to look out on each day, the little shops that I frequented and most of all the everyday moments with friends and coworkers were now going to be limited to hopeful future visits.

There was still so much I wanted to do, wanted to explore.

It was also hard on us as a couple. We each have our own unique goals and dreams. We also love each other and want to support each other and sometimes the other person’s vision doesn’t always line up perfectly with our own. Matt moved to Indiana for my job, but it had only been a year of a two-year program (one that wasn’t expected to be virtual), and I was so happy to be in the office around co-workers again. (Work-from-home is not ideal for me.) Moving to Los Angeles, despite its definite positives, was not exactly the direction I thought we were going.

I grieved these losses while also trying to look ahead. Just because those things are not happening now, doesn’t mean they won’t ever. And there was still some light at the end of what felt like a dark tunnel. As my friend Michael said, “There’s a lot of hot coals ahead, but it will be over soon.”

Through this sadness comes a deep appreciation for the experiences we had and the people we met. For the many undocumented moments of Harry Potter game nights, of walks around the lake, of discovering the boardwalk near our home, of activities with the church youth that gave me so much hope for the future, of pontoon evenings, lunches at Light Rail, playing games outside of the ice cream shop. It’s the party thrown for us with homemade ice cream and great conversation. It’s the people that came over in the July heat to move our stuff into the moving van. It’s the friends that came over at 10 pm to help dismantle a bed frame because Matt was in LA (although I did grab a picture of that) and brought fried Oreos for me because they know I’d love it.

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Six years later

It’s been almost exactly six years since I wrote “Surprise! I’m moving to Nashville” and left LA. In some ways, I feel very much the same. I even went back to my old exercise class I loved and weirdly, it has the same music and choreography from even ten years ago. It’s like a time warp back to high school when I first started going to the class (but I still love it).

I have to remind myself that I’ve experienced some pretty big life changes, namely:

And in turn, I hope that I am better than I was when I left six years ago.

There are pros and cons to anywhere you live. Always. It usually depends on how you see it.

We’re very fortunate to have the opportunities we have, we’re fortunate to have found the place we’re living now, to be close to family and friends here, and I do hope to visit Warsaw again soon.

“It always does work out but it might not work out the way you think it will.” 

Not sure where life is going to take us next or how long we’ll be here. We joked with my family the other night about waiting at least 6 months before we move again. I’m hoping that really is a joke, but honestly, you know as much as I do.

It’s interesting that a small town I was so hesitant to go to on a summer internship could change me and hold so much deep importance for me now. I really owe so much to God for giving me the peace to take leaps of faith and make these changes, even with the uncertainty of how it will turn out. And so far, the most unexpected things in my life have also yielded the best things in my life.

Looking forward to all this time ahead has to hold (and lots more sunshine and beach days).

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