If I can hike the Y, I can go to grad school
Life update (that I mentioned in a previous post): I’m going to grad school! I just finished my second week (although I was on a trip to visit some companies and attend a conference for four of those days… so so far I’ve actually been to 50% of my classes :o) and all I’ve been doing today aside from my intramural volleyball game (which was awesome even though we lost) is working on homework and preparing for this next week. I definitely understand why they don’t allow you to work full-time or part-time during your first year. It’s intense. Between classes, clubs, and recruiting for an internship next summer, it feels like I’m barely keeping it together. I don’t know how I’m even writing this right now. But I’ve decided to make it a priority to document as much as possible. Because honestly, it’s one of the greatest feelings to look back on and see all the memories here.
My decision to go back to school full-time was definitely a process. It was scary at times to think about not having a consistent income or even things like how am I going to re-learn how to study, and I can’t say all the fears have gone away, but I will say that there’s honestly just no time to think about them. I don’t just take it a day at a time, at this point it’s really an hour by hour basis ;)
In all seriousness, it’s the best decision and I know it’s the right one. I went to an information session back in the fall, just to see how I felt about it. I found myself trying to hold back tears because the idea of going back to school and furthering my career in this way made me so hopeful and inspired. Their theme during the session was “don’t disqualify yourself,” and those words rang in my ears as I studied for the GMAT and felt like I was relearning 8th grade math again — If I can’t do this math easily, how am I going to get into grad school let alone survive grad school? — or even at times during work where I felt really good being there and wondering if it was worth it to give up a full-time job. What if I found out I actually liked graphic design the most?
I don’t think I’ll ever stop creating. No matter what job I’m in. That’s where I thrive anyways. Creating brands, content, ideas — whatever it is. I’m grateful especially for Matt who has been beyond supportive in every way I needed him. He was there at the information session, he continued to encourage me to study for the GMAT and not get discouraged and to apply when I felt those feelings of doubt. Even now, as I’ve looked up jobs I’m interested in, he’s looked for companies in those areas so I can have the reassurance that where I find a place I’m happy in, he’ll be able to find a place too (we’ll be graduating at the same time! :D ).
On another note — we hiked the Y! Twice now actually. The first time was beginning of August when my friend and former roommate Stephanie stayed with us. We went for sunrise so woke up super early and started out. The first couple switchbacks were TOUGH. I thought the whole hike would be like that, but fortunately it got slightly better. We saw some cool birds and even a mountain goat. As I made it to the top, it felt even more official that I was going to BYU and if I could do that hike, then I could survive grad school.
We’ve resolved to try to hike the Y once a week as our schedules permit. We’ll see what happens as it gets colder, but I believe in us!