Monthly Inspiration: May

I'm beginning to feel "old." I mean, I haven't even made it to a quarter of a century yet but that feeling when you realize that you're an "adult" to most people, but you still feel like a kid in the way that your life and your future are pretty uncertain ... do you get that feeling?

I remember when I was younger, I'd look at people who were in college and think they've figured it out, they're on the right path, they know what they're doing. When I got to college I still felt as uncertain about where I was going or what I wanted to really do, what I was supposed to do, as I did in high school. At one point, transferring out of UCLA to an art school sounded like a good idea. And maybe it would have been. Although I probably would have a lot of debt if I made that choice.

Then I started looking at people that had graduated or had solid jobs and professions and families and think again well they've got it figured out, they know what they're doing, they're comfortable, they've "made it."

And now that I've graduated, now that I have a full-time job that I love, and a profession that I can grow in, I still feel as uncertain about my future and where I'll "end up" as much as I did in high school or college. And it's weird too because I'm looking at high school kids now – who I still feel like I relate to and am not much older than – and realize I'm almost ten years older than them. It freaks me out a bit.

What happened to that time?! 

I still feel pretty much the exact same. Just a bit more knowledgeable about certain topics. And more confident in my skillset. But still uncertain about what specifically my future will hold.

It's kind of great though too. I realize that as soon as I feel comfortable, I often become complacent. Life isn't as bright in those gray stages. I don't grow as much, I'm not challenged. A friend of mine made a point once – the friend that gave me this quote – that life would be boring if it was predictable, if we knew what was going to happen in five or ten years from now.

So with that, here's to another month of welcome uncertainty.